Joan of Arse - Read it and Weep - Boring Announcements 2

Category Archives: Boring Announcements

You’re not my database programmer, you can’t tell me what to do..

July 21, 2009

Holy Shit!

whoa!

Alright, I got the “you’ve got 10 days” to post , or lose a limb, so here I am. To clear things up, no, I have not LEFT this site for a new one. I am have not fallen in love with a better looking site or one richer in content…nor am I two-timing this site. I just came up with a funny idea and decided to go with it… Understand?

Not much new is happening around here. Just a lot of work and a lot of beer. Mmmhmmm. I feel as though it is my duty, as the creator of twitdrunk.com, to “test” out the sites functionality while intoxicated. You know, to do as the drunk do or something. Anyway, all of this testing “on beer” has really taken a toll on my ass, my saddlebags and my left tit (?). Now, it could also be all the ribs, bacon, red meat, chips, cheese and chocolate I’ve been chowing down on, but I swear my pants were a lot looser when I stuck to vodka soda. Unfortunately, the dr. is being STINGY with the Valium and wont refill the Rx which means I have to suffer through a hangover if I get my drink all-the-way-on. Total fucker. I’m retarded. Oh well.

I made progress in cleanliness today, which I deserve half a star for. I actually peeled my face from the computer, my ass off the chair and experienced a shower and some exercise, er, in the reverse order…I know, I know. It sucked pretty bad, but earlier this morning I caught a whiff of myself and I don’t think that it’s ever a good sign when your body smells like marinated meat. Not a gooder.

Obviously, I have not been shooting lately , ha – ha- ha. I will start up again in September. Sometimes it just feels good to let yourself go. I am so glad I’m not famous.

Alright, well, I have to go brush my dog and watch a made for TV movie on Lifetime. I should be on cam Thursday night. Not sure if it will be camarades or ustream. Check back later for details.

Cups of Coffee: one for each Jonahs' Brother.. you do the math.
What Does Jonah Want Now?: he wants you to "look" his keywords >:-) and then he wants you to go with him to the worst place in the world: COSTCO.

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Bob is not paying my bills anymore….bad, bad man.

June 12, 2009

Hey!
I’m here and I am all brand new! My dental work has been sorted out and I am happy to report that I have been relieved of the constant pain and overall feeling of malaise. Whoo hoo! Bye bye Vicodin, hello happy!

I am very excited for next week, tons of shoots AND, even more exciting.. the launch of my ONLINE STORE!! YES YES YES! I haven’t been shooting for the past two weeks, due to my tooth dilemma, so I’ve been nerding it up and I built an online store for my site. I am still fiddling around with the layout and the overall design but it works like a dream and I am so frickin’ excited I could blink.

What will I be selling, you ask? … EButt Plugs! No, actually, I have been doing shoots for trade, no signed release of the photos..meaning neither party can use them for commercial use, aka:profit. This poses a problem for me because I would like to get paid, in some money-like form, for being really ridiculously good looking (hey now Jonah said I was a 10 so STFU hahah) … so from now on I will only be shooting with signed releases stating that I can sell them and owe no royalties to the photographer…I will give the photogs credit and link to them, but they cannot collect a percentage of the sale. Any10not8, I am going to be selling photos in high res., desktop themes, videos, secret URL’s to “special webcam events”…. and the BEST thing about it is that I linked it through a paypal check out system, so you don’t have to register to purchase anything, AND EVERYTHING for sale will be downloadable. No shipping. Unless, of course, it is a calendar or an actual non-virtual object. It’s so bad ass… I know you will love, save up your allowance!

Typing of webcam… I will be popping on camarades at some point,URL, next week for the last time.Mostly because I am sick of the person who keeps ripping each image and even more mostly because I feel like I should make a little profit on my time and my mad entertainment skillz. Starting next week, when I do go on cam… you will have to purchase the URL to the new site through my store. You only have to purchase it once and it won’t cost a ton. It’s like a special key to my webcam, and a forced token of your appreciation. The URL will not change, unless I am doing a special event and I will be streaming from another location..in that case, you will have to purchase that URL to view that event. I won’t charge to stream, so once you are there, you can stay as long as you want. I will be scheduling shows about 2x a week and will be on for at least an hour. You will get your moneys worth, whores. Chat will still remain free through this site.

Important: All webcam proceeds will go toward the purchase of a NEW High Def WebCam/ Digital VIDEO CAMERA so that I can make even cooler videos and look even better live in high def baby. So it benefits you to contribute.

Lastly, somebody special turned SIX years old this week so don’t forget to wish our little buddy, and my co-host, a happy stinky poopy-time birthday after your late afternoon whack.

Stay tuned for my next video “Give a Dog a Bath” which was voted for by you!! It’s gonna be great!

xoxo

Current Mood: Happy Happy Happy
Smell of the Day: The prime rib roasting in honor of Daisy's 6th birthday :-)

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Filed under Boring Announcements, Jibber Jabber, New Junk, Webcast Announcements ♥ Comments (1)

So long WW/Camarades…

May 5, 2009

For some reason they have banned me AGAIN and I am over it. My patience for this sort of nonsense is wearing thin and so I have given up trying to get them to reinstate my page.

I just don’t care enough.

Either way, don’t bother going there anymore. I am removing all links to that site on here.

From now on you will have to go to ustream to see me. The best way to know if I am online, or not, is to follow me. This means you have to register for an account…which you wont do because you are lazy and therefore you suck.

wah – wah

I am displeased with the fact that there is a layer of coffee film muck at the bottom of my cup. Totally unacceptable.

anger…grrr

Cups of Coffee: 1 cup with 1 inch of sludge at bottom. nice.
Current Mood: guess.
Places You Might Find Me Today: not on ww.com

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Santa was here ! Santa was here! Straight from the North Pole!

April 25, 2009

OMG I just went through a stat log and it appears as though CROTCH CRINGLE HIMSELF has been reading my blog!! Yes! I had a hit from “The North Pole” today! No shittin’ ya!

I am so happy I could blink!
WOOOP

Cups of Coffee: tee hee xmas geee

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Filed under Boring Announcements, Jibber Jabber ♥ Comments (2)

surprise surprise- the russians invaded the forums

April 13, 2009

Ok, another reason I need to take that fucker down…I had to reset it for admin approval if you want to join/post because the Russians are not to be trusted. They cannot behave themselves and need constant moderation. Tis’ a shame.

Oh hey now, I forgot to mention that I have official representation now. Yipee. Hopefully this will mean work… I am allowed to be represented by 1 agency per county…and I haven’t even begun SF. I was GOING to go today, but for reasons such as:

- ate way too much Easter food bloat

- drank too much Easter wine bloat

- need to clean the house bloat

- waiting for a few more photos, from recent shoots to come back to take to open calls, bloat

- paralyzing anxiety, bloat

So… I am gonna go next week when I’ve got that nasty list above sorted. Actually, the one agency, here in SF, who I want to sign me, holds the Monday open call and so it could make or break an entire week for me. I am preparing and padding the walls.

I am gonna do a 48 hour detox. It’s basically like the lemonade thing, except that I am going to drink coffee because I cannot live without it. It has come to my attention, that wine doesn’t really agree with me. In fact, whenever I drink it I feel positively ill the following day. I drank wine two days in a row and I feel like complete ass…which is what prompted me to want to clean up.

My house is a mess as well. I have a shoot here on Wednesday so I have to get it all cleaned and sparkly… not something I enjoy. Mostly because I hate this place so much.

Also, I am re-doing how I do photos on here. I may sell sets and they are going to be different than are what on my new “portfolio site” (just bought the domain) which will be less satirical and (sigh) more professional.. sorry, but I can’t help but wonder if F.O.R.D clicked on the MY SITE link from the online portfolio site I sent them and read all the smack I talked. I mean, they don’t LIKE girls like me…the kind who smile sweetly, walk away quietly, come home and rip them a new one on a blog. People can google that shit.

If you want to know the URL to the new site, private message me. You may be able to figure it out but please dont start guessing in the comments because you may get it right and I don’t want any trackbacks pointing here.

Things are going to start to change around here. First thing to go, forums.