Category Archives: Webcast Announcements


Newish Webcam Solutution

October 5, 2009

Camarades can suck  the “cream” topping off an ookie cookie.

They banned me again for no reason AGAIN. For fucking nothing. They act like they are paying me or something. I honestly believe that they do this from time to time so that I will contact them and pay them some attention. It must get lonely out there in SLOVAKIA. Totally passive aggressive. Fuckers should be thankful, I am the one driving traffic to their site. They should be showering me with stolen electronics, fuzzy dice to hang on my rear view and knock off handbags. No joke, if you googalize my cam, their traffic stats come up and who the hell do you think is either #1 or in the top ten (even though I am on like once every 3 months) as far as numbers are concerned….ME. Not the saggy titty wilted willy grandpa spankin’ it 24/7 in France. Not the guy who’s nipples I show not…

Camarades, you lose. I have officially moved to Ustream and I am bringing all of Europe’s perverts with me. Here they can watch me and chat with me and HEAR MY VOICE, live, streaming in real-time, for FREE. For some sick reason I felt loyal to you and although I had tinkered around with ustream, I came back to you. Unfortunately, for you not me, this relationship is over.

Listen up perverts, you know who you are (I don’t usually make things bold so you know this is important). You will notice a new link in the navigation bar up top. This link says WEBCAM. By clicking on this link you will be taken to a page, on this site, where my new webcam AND chat are embedded. I will be broadcasting on a schedule, so you will know when I am on, no more of this hitting the site 50 times a day to see if I am on crap. No more sadness.To view my schedule go to my new webcam page (the one I just mentioned), it will be hovering over the cam display when I am off air. Also, make sure you have speakers (:-0) because this stream has audio. This means I get to talk and you get to lissen me and best of all IT’S FREE and it’s great quality. So you can take all of that money you paid to Camarades for your “elite” fake streaming, no voice or chat, account and give it to me. If you need the email associated with my Paypal account, let me know.

Oh, and if you want to participate in the chat you will have to register. It is super easy and you will not be redirected from the page. You enter in a username, password, date of birth and a captcha then you are in. Nothing to it.

Fun! Haaay!

Ok, now that that’s out of the way….I must relocate my wine.

xoxo

CL

  • Places You Might Find Me Today: swimming in a pool of clarified butter.
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The best part of being a grown up

August 31, 2009

Is being able to stay up all night and watch headbangers ball without getting yelled at and told to GO TO BED.

going to bed suck (period).

I don’t know what is going on actually but for the past three nights in a row I’ve been sleeping nearly 13 hours a night. It may have to do with the fact that  I am sick to death of hanging out with my husband ( I mean 12 days in a row non-stop, really?) , besides sleep is a way for me to be with my new favorite species of sexy: PILF.

All jewish jokes aside, I really did plan on getting up earlier… I just slept through it. So fuck it, on with now.

So, because you have missed me and I am the only G-rated thing worth whackin’ it to on the web, I will be pouring myself a glass of flat champagne and sliding on cam this evening – 6pm Pacific time sounds like a fine time.

I am still debating over ustream. I sort of dirtched them after they started making people REGISTER to chat, whic h I think it BS… unless you have a Twitter account. I dunno where I will be tonight. I will post a shout or a tweet if I am on ustream, otherwise expect the worst, I mean my normal cam.

xo

Crack-of-ages

With hair

colleen with hair

Without hair

Colleen without hair

Dressed up like a gypsy:

Colleen Gypsy

Not dressed up like a gypsy:

Picture 13

  • Cups of Coffee: if we can make f(x) arbitrarily large and negative for all x sufficiently close to x=a, from both sides, without actually letting x=a... you do the math.
  • Current Mood: sunglasses, remote control, wallet
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After nearly two weeks of sleeplesness..

August 14, 2009

Thank fucking god I finally got some sleep. I seriously thought I was going to lose my mind earlier this week and I honestly thought I was dying.

This is actually the first time, in quite a while that I feel close to GREAT. Like not just OK, or bored, or over-it, but 100% not miserable or paralyzed with anxiety. I think that it may have something to do with the fact that my husband is taking me to Maui for nearly two weeks for our 1 year anniversary in THREE STINKIN’ DAYS; and although I am scared shitless about flying, the valium rx is all ret-to-go in case I feel a need to feel nothing. I am having a hard time choosing between the 49ers football helmet or the Jets. Speaking of the NY Jets, I can’t find my hat. I love that hat. It is my only hat. True, I am not technically a Jets fan, but Dolly gave it to me and whatever Dolly loves, I love. Please hat, COME HOME.

Anyway, despite feeling gloomy, Tuesday night was a ton of fun. In case ya missed it, I popped on cam for about an hour and to be honest, I was surprised, er, shocked rather, to see the number of visitors I had that night. It was up in the thousands, and I am not talking just 1 or 2k… how fun is that? I got quite a few emails from fans, new and old, which was really nice. I don’t know how the hell you found me but, hey,  thanks for the lovey-love and the patronage. Come Again!

You know, the chat room is always entertaining so if you are a lurker, break free of the nonsense and come plop your pickle in my chat… it’s an odd place but it’s not nearly as creepy as you would imagine, so if you happen to catch my cam online, come here ,launch the chat, pick a user name (you don’t need to register)  and check it out, you might make a new friend. The best part is when I check the log the next day and find that even after I left, people stuck around and chatted with one another …it is so cute to see you all becoming BFF’s. You guys rule.

Here is some of what you missed in case you where to busy whacking elsewhere… by the looks of the clips, you would never even know how SHITTY I felt that day. It was all laughs and beer and Frankzz.

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I am off to work out and then off to my once a week, one week a month, day job.

CHOW M’BOX

xoxo

Crack

  • Cups of Coffee: one furry cup goes a shlong way.
  • Current Mood: I am almost off the charts happy. The world must be coming to an end.
  • Places You Might Find Me Today: Nestled in between a warm tortilla covered in beans.
  • What Does Jonah Want Now?: a job at Twitter. (shaking head...)
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You’re not my database programmer, you can’t tell me what to do..

July 21, 2009

Holy Shit!

whoa!

Alright, I got the “you’ve got 10 days” to post , or lose a limb, so here I am.  To clear things up, no, I have not LEFT this site for a new one. I am have not fallen in love with a better looking site or one richer in content…nor am I two-timing this site. I just came up with a funny idea and decided to go with it… Understand?

Not much new is happening around here. Just a lot of work and a lot of beer. Mmmhmmm. I feel as though it is my duty, as the creator of twitdrunk.com, to “test” out the sites functionality while intoxicated. You know, to do as the drunk do or something. Anyway, all of this testing “on beer” has really taken a toll on my ass, my saddlebags and my left tit (?). Now, it could also be all the ribs, bacon, red meat, chips, cheese and chocolate I’ve been chowing down on, but I swear my pants were a lot looser when I stuck to vodka soda. Unfortunately, the dr. is being STINGY with the Valium and wont refill the Rx which means I have to suffer through a hangover if I get my drink all-the-way-on. Total fucker. I’m retarded. Oh well.

I made progress in cleanliness today, which I deserve half a star for. I actually peeled my face from the computer, my ass off the chair and experienced a shower and some exercise, er, in the reverse order…I know, I know. It sucked pretty bad,  but earlier this morning I caught a whiff of myself and I don’t think that it’s ever a good sign when your body smells like marinated meat. Not a gooder.

Obviously, I have not been shooting lately , ha – ha- ha. I will start up again in September. Sometimes it just feels good to let yourself go. I am so glad I’m not famous.

Alright, well, I have to go brush my dog and watch a made for TV movie on Lifetime.  I should be on cam Thursday night. Not sure if it will be camarades or ustream. Check back later for details.

xo

Cl

  • Cups of Coffee: one for each Jonahs' Brother.. you do the math.
  • What Does Jonah Want Now?: he wants you to "look" his keywords >:-) and then he wants you to go with him to the worst place in the world: COSTCO.
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Previously on Really Fucking Lost…

June 28, 2009

I popped on  camarades a couple times last week, (I suppose I was in need of some attention), and it was …well,  much of the same. A few new visitors/fans/wankers joined me in chat which was cool and always fun. I live to entertain. Of course, I received the standard hate mail from my fans in France who think it is VERY unfair that I refuse to take my clothes off or show my nipples. Straight up nipple beggars. Hey, not-so-news-flash: You have been watching my cam for like 5 years. Nothing has changed except for my tolerance. Maybe you should send yourself that email and then you can answer it yourself. The whole of France just needs to chill. the. fuck. out. I love ya, just not that much.

You know what, the chat room seems to be holding up pretty well, despite the fact that I made it (oommggg) and done fucked up the database about 300 times, I call it “a little SQL fart”. I am actually even more surprised that my hosting hasn’t bent me over their virtual-knees and spanked me long and hard for using up all that bandwich and hammering on the database whenever the chatters start piling in. I LOVE YOU OMNIS!!! <–my hosting of like 8 years. They have been so darn good to me, if I weren’t married with 13 lovers on the side, I’d totally invite them all over for dinner and handjobs drinks. (joking…about the lovers thing).

Alright so today I am feeling a trillion times better than yesterday. I am never mixing tequila, beer, wine,  vodka and fernet again. Ever. What am I, new? Really. I am such a lame ass. Only good thing was that I got to lounge on the couch and watch the entire season 2 of The Tudors, my new favorite show.

Tonight Hairgloom (my “big-boned” husband) are gonna hit up the beach for a good old fashioned Jr. High School-style bonfire. It’s so fun, even if we are the oldest (drunkest)  idiots on the beach.

In case you missed it, here are some snaps from last weeks peep show. They are from two different days. One was after a shoot so I was wearing two tons of makeup and looked decent, the other is just me…in my naturally retarded state.

Love ya’s

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  • Current Mood: i just giggled.
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