Xo
Category Archives: Hooked
Three weeks old
September 4, 2011
Georgie is three weeks old today. I can’t believe it… she has changed so much.
So far everything, aside from being in breastfeeding hell, is going really well. She slept for nearly five hours straight last night which I needed so much both physically and mentally. My backup energy stores are used up and everything hurts 1000 times worse at 11pm when you are fucking exhausted.
Anyway, here is a list of a few things that I have not been able to live without. I have been meaning to post some of these things earlier but I plumb forgot, so here they go.
Love:
- side snap onesies: These are the best. I hate having to put stuff over her head and when they are new and so small that shit can really freak you out (they seem so fragile!!). My favorite ones so far are both the short and long sleeve side snap onesies from Petit Bateau and also the ribbed long sleeve side snapper from Zara. The ones I least like are the carters side snap half shirts, only because I prefer the undershirt to cover the entire body so that they don’t ride up.
- sleeping gowns: You can’t have a new baby and not have these. They poop SO MUCH (like 10 times a day) and you need easy access to the diaper. Srrsly, those one piece deals are a pain in to snap and unsnap 100 times at 3am. Get these. The ones I like the best are from the Gap. They come in newborn 0-3 and newborn 3-6. Gap seems to run big, FYI. When they are newborns it’s all about comfort because they are sleeping like 18 hours a day. GET GOWNS.
- Pampers not Huggies: I have tried four different diapers so far: Huggies newborn organic cotton, Wiona biowindeln (German brand, organic cotton), Babylove from DM (German) and Pampers newborn. The only ones that didn’t suck ass and leak were/are the Pampers. I was hesitant to get these because I really wanted to love the organic cotton diapers, but let me tell you, nothing is more depressing than picking up your crying baby at 3am only to find her AND HER BEDDING drenched in pee. Not cool. I know Pampers has gotten a bad rap for using some chemicals in the diaper but, like, if you change your baby every time she pees and/or poos ( I change Gee every couple of hours) there should be no problem. Using disposable diapers doesn’t mean that you can be a lazy ass and let them sit in it longer. C’mooooon!
We were actually going to use cloth diapers however the cost of electricity in Germany (and all of Europe, I think) is cat crazy expensive. It would not be economical for us to wash/dry them at home and the only diaper service here in Munich is 3x the cost of disposables. Environmentally, cloth is just as unfriendly as disposable, just in a different way… a resource is a resource. Personally, it wasn’t really about the environment for me as much as it was that I like the idea of having fresh organic cotton against her bottom rather than the chemicals in the disposable diapers but I don’t like the idea of quadrupling the electricity bill.
Choose your waste wisely!!
- Muslin swaddle blankets: These are frickin’ awesome particularly if you have a baby in the heat of the summer but you can layers these under a warmer blanket when it’s chilly also. They are cool, yet keep the bean toasty. Breathable, that’s it! And so soft! I know they cost a shitload but trust me, they are worth it. I have some by Aden and Anus Anais and I use them every day. They are my #1 favorite blanket.
- Swaddle designs receiving blankets/swaddle blanket: These are the best receiving blankets ever because they are REALLY BIG, really soft (even after washing) and do not shrink up in the dryer like the cheapos. I use these as a sheet for the bassinet, they are that big. Worth every penny.
- Baby Gap newborn toweling socks (size 0-3 months): These are the only ones that stay on her long skinny feet. They have a little elastic gathering around the ankle that keeps them on which is awesome and I actually put other socks over these so that they stay on. They aren’t perfect and enough wiggling will get them to fall off, but as far as newborn socks go, these are pretty good.
- Electric Breast Pump: If you plan on breastfeeding you should get one of these before baby comes because it takes a while to learn. Sounds like horseshit, but it’s true and it takes practice. Also, pumping helps if you have serious engorgement issues like I do, thanks to having breast implants. The worst pain ever is a baby trying to latch on to an engorged boob with nipples that are already sore/cracked/bleeding/partially falling off. Also, for peeps with a low supply, this is a great way to build it up. I was worried that this might be my problem because of the boob job, but I wound up having the opposite problem – too much milk- strange, I know. Either way, eventually I’d like to have more than 1 glass of wine at dinner, so the pump is now and will be until I wean, a part of the furniture. Oh, I have the Medela symphony. It’s fantastic and I can pump both jugs at once. Total time saver.. leaves me more time for whackin’.
- Nursing Tea: From what I’ve read, women either love the stuff or hate it. It has a very strong taste that if drunken,er dranked, jaja, in large quantities it will leave your skin smelling like maple syrup. HOWEVER, this stuff is great for boosting your milk supply if yours is on the low side. Again, I was pretty convinced that I’d have little to NO milk because I had implants and because they were inserted using the peri areolar incision (the one that looks like a smiley face along the lower portion of the nipple) and also because I have areas of numbness over the incisions, but like I mentioned, this was not the case for me. However, I still drink it because I kind of enjoy the taste and it has some other junk it is that is supposed to be good for the baby’s tummy. The one I drink is Weleda stilltee, or Welede nursing tea in the US? They brought this to me by the carafe while I was in the hospital. In fact, they had an entire “tea room” where you could go at any time and choose from a variety of teas that were supposed to help with recovering from childbirth and with nursing. I will do an entire post on the hospital at some point. It was an interesting experience…
I think that is all for now, I will add more to the list in the future…
As far as things that I think suck:
I know I am probably the only person in the world who doesn’t rave about this shit, but whatevs… I do not like Lanisoh nipple goop. To me, it seems like it slows down the healing process which is a real pisser. I’d rather have a little more pain and heal faster than prolonged pain and slow ass healing. The Lanisoh probably works better if you use it BEFORE your nipples become sore and cracked to hell. But after the fact it doesn’t seem to do much. As far as the other remedies on the market meant for demolished nipples, I’ve tried them all and nothing has worked for me so far. I wish I could get my hands on some of that all purpose nipple stuff, but I am in Germany where EVERYTHING is by prescription only, and seriously controlled, even ibuprofen. LAME. I know this is probably frowned upon but the only thing that has really seemed to help speed up healing and relieve some of the pain is by applying a combination of hydrocortisone cream (.25%) along with a dot of neosporin pain relief (which I got in the US and is now expired according to the date on the label, BUMMER). I do wash off the area before feeding her but still it is probably not the best thing to be using, I dunno.
If anyone has any other suggestions I would love to hear them. I am a huge supporter of pharmaceuticals. It is the scientist in me, what can I say?! I figure why spend weeks toying around with homeopathic remedies when you can nip the pain in the bud on the first try. (trust me, after you’ve been in EXCRUCIATING pain for more than two weeks straight, you and I will be humming the same balls) Call me crazy, or asshole, I don’t care.. my nipples hurt dammit and half of the right one is straight up missing. I am in pain and pain is depressing.
I believe that homeopathy is kind of silly when there are real drugs out there that are proven to work that wont kill me like this pain is killing me, slowly. I will try anything though, and I am open to a little natural medicine, but srrsly, if someone can send me over some of that all purpose nipple cream I will be your best friend. Baaaah, do I look like a fucking sheep? F’real. Save it and then beer me.
Shoot Angel Face is waking up from her beauty sleep. Must go. Stay cool people. xo
THIS IS WHY I KEEP SUFFERING THROUGH EACH AND EVERY HORRIBLY PAINFUL FEEDING:
wouldn’t you?
Our baby has arrived!
August 14, 2011
She’s here and we are maxed out with love. Labor and delivery story to follow xo
Georgiana Leona
August 14, 2011 3:04am
3280 g (7 lb 4 oz) , 53 cm
Love love love love love and nothin’ but.
Letting in, letting go.
May 9, 2011
Last week the processor on my laptop performed it’s very last process.
I don’t want to throw in the towel just yet, however. I managed to get into the recovery console via a bootable usb drive that I created, but it’s lookin’ to me like there is some serious corruption and that I might just have to call it a day… it really sucks. Not so much because of all of the files that I’d lose but mostly because I am such a sentimental bastard and I really was attached to the damn thing.
I have this habit of becoming really attached to objects. My Saabs, my computers, my phones, my calculator… no matter how broke ass and busted up they are.
Alright, so my laptop got tired early last week and then on Friday morning, around 4am, I receive notification that my web server had been hacked. This is a problem because all my sorry excuse for backup files were on my dead-as-a-doorknob laptop. THIS WAS A NIGHTMARE. So there I was up at 4am. ON MY BLACKBERRY and the fricken ipad, trying to debug my site – or at least take it DOWN for what I like to call “maintenance” (hahah right.). Basically, I fucked up. Normally I am pretty good about updating the scripts to my sites. Buuuut I let one of my websites fall way behind which let all sorts of nasty, bored, not getting laid much, most likely Russian, individual hackders. The first thing that comes to mind is…eeeer, get a life?
Anyway, I spent an entire day cleaning up my server, scouring through files for code that didn’t belong and updating. So far so good. What a mess. I’ve been developing sites for over 11 years and I’ve never had this sort of thing happen.
Oh hai.
So, aside from that whole fiasco, last night at dinner husband and I were talking about this past year and about how so much has changed and how in 14 short weeks everything will be even more changier. He said that he wishes the baby were her NOW and that he is growing impatient which is when I realized that I am sooo not ready, AT ALL. Of COURSE, I cannot wait for her to get here, but to be honest, I am hanging on to each and every second of life as I know it while it still exists. I feel like I kinda grieving a bit. I know that once she is here, that is it. We are going to be different. Gone are the carefree adventures of a couple of farting party animals.
Sometimes, all the time , when I am feeling anxious, or when the sun is out (whoo hoo summer!), all I can think about is wanting to sit outside with a beer or a glass of wine, relaxing, feeling the sun on my THIN cute body (argh daaaahling my thiiighs are kiiiilling me AAAAH)…. I think of Maui and I imagine/remember sitting in the cabana watching the sun set and terrorizing people with our whoopy cushion, while wearing a George Washington wig (true story)… and laughing so hard that I couldn’t walk or “flee the scene”. And somtimes I think to myself, only a few more months and things will be back to normal, but then I realize that even though I wont be pregnant anymore, those days are fucking over dood. There will be a NEW normal from here on out. For ever. That cocktail will never be enjoyed in the same way. Our future vacations to Maui are now going to be “family” vacations and the only time we will be awake at sunrise will be when we are changing a diaper. What will become of my whoopy cushion collection? Who knows…
I am in mourning and I need every single day of these next 14 weeks to prepare myself. If she were to come today, I’d be more than thrilled, but I am hanging on to the time I’ve got left to process memories, be sad that my bikini wont fit this summer (and perhpas next), and to say goodbye to my spontanious ways. I don’t like change. I have never been good with it, and in one year I’ve moved to a new country, said goodbye to my friends and family TWICE, quit my anxiety meds (THAT was hard) and gotten pregnant, which means I’ve also quit showing up in my kitchen for cocktail hour.
I know that once she is here I wont have much time to dwell on the past so I am getting it all out of my system now 
. I am happy to move on. It’s sad to let go, but it’s time. I feel fortunate that we have had so many awesome experiences together and have really, for the most part, gotten to enjoy life as a childless couple with a dog and a couple of bottomless flasks ja ja ja. We are wrapping up one phase and preparing ourselves, as much as we, can for a new one that will change us as people, and as a couple, for ever. This bed keeps getting smaller and smaller… let me tell ya.
It scares the shit out of me. I ain’t gonna lie.
… We began getting the room ready this weekend and it went surprisingly well . How it works is this, we live in a gigantic one bedroom, top floor apartment, of an old pre-war building. It is very large. In fact they had a hard time renting it because it was too big to be a one bedroom and most people in the market for this size of a place want two bedrooms. Anyway, we sort of love it, however, with the baby coming we thought about how we were going to make it work, or, if we should just move. The neighborhood is prime. We are where everyone wants to be. It is like living on Union St. in San Francisco; shops, restaurants, public tranpsort, the park… it is ideal. Also, moving apartments here is VERY expensive. It cost us close to a down payment on a house to move in here a year ago and get it furnished. As I mentioned before, most apartments here do not come with kitchens. So when you move into a new place, you have to install your own (stove, fridge, washer/dryer, cabinets, countertops and sometimes even a floor). Aparments do not come with light fixtures, just bulbs (if you are lucky), hanging from the ceiling. Light fixtures are not cheap. In addition to that, the deposit on a new apartment is three months rent and usually you get stuck with an agent fee which is equal to 1.5 times the rent. Finding a GOOD flat without an agent is not easy to do here and the tenant, not the landlord, is responsible for paying the agent fee. SO, as you can see moving is a HUGE flippin’ deal which is why families of 4, and sometimes more, make do in one bedroom living situations (there was a family of SIX living in our apartment before we moved in.. SIX!!!). Anyway, so what we did was create a divide in our room and essentially made it into two, decent sized (by San Francisco standards), rooms using drapery much like how we arranged our living room. It looks great and flows nicely (I will take a bunch of pics once things are more together), I am happy we were able to make it work. I really do not think I would be able to handle a move right now ( no more sudden changes please!!). We hung the light fixture on her side and put together the babybay co-sleeper which will go on our side for the first few months. Our furniture should be here in the next 4 weeks and the bedding sometimes in late June. Wee!
We have or 3D/4D sonogram on Wednesday morning, same day as my glucose test, and I am super nervous!! I really hope that we get to see her little face and that everything is OK. Sonograms, while great, always make me anxious… and they do them so frequently here ( at nearly every appointment). Oh, and I will get my 26 week video up later today, so check youtube and if you haven’t already, SUBSCRIBE.
I know this is a long post. A lot has been going on (inside my head) and everything is becoming so real… and exciting…and terrifying. I have been tired beyond belief and also, at times, overwhelmed with anxiety. Two nights ago I woke up in the middle of the night and I was having a full blown anxiety attack. I couldn’t breath, my heart was racing and I felt like I wanted to jump out of my skin. That hasn’t happened to me in a LONG ass time and it scary to feel so out of control. Also, my ankles are swelling pretty badly now. We had some friends over for dinner and so I was in the kitchen cooking most of the day and by the time they arrived it was hard to tell where my calf ended. YUCK.
I am feeling so sluggish. The honeymoon is definitely coming to an end. We have 14 weeks left. Holy shit!
Hope this post finds you well. Or, I hope you found this post well..no, I hope you found this post and that you are well. Whatever.
much luv xoxo
************************
I’ve been listening to all of my “summer tracks” lately (OK the part about losing around 10 gigs of music if my laptop dies SUCKS) and I had this one stuck in my head all day yesterday.
Do I have to grow up just yet?
Is it OK to laugh at poop occasionally?
What about farting?
Can I still own a whoopy cushion?
What would Peter Pan do?!?!?!?
You can trust me..
April 21, 2011
I haven’t had a drink since 2010.
Sugar: it’s worse than crack.
It’s bad y’all… so bad that yesterday I tossed out the remaining ice cream in the freezer because I knew that I couldn’t control myself come 10pm, only to find it BACK in the freezer later that evening. Can this be/should this be classified as rock fucking bottom? Signs point to YES.
So bad that this morning I wanted toast, toast with jam. And before the toast was even done toasting I had stuck my spoon into the jar of super sweet strawberry jam and jammed a gigantic glob of it into my quivering mouth (and did not get sick).
Please do not intervene until after breakfast.
Breakfast: Two pieces of toast drenched in butter and jam. Pure bliss.
