Hihihihi

We returned to Munich last night. Ugh. Gutted. Leaving SF, this time, was a lot harder than it was when we first moved here. I am sure that being pregnant and (w)hormonal has something to do with it…and the fact that I am no longer on my SSRI, or able to ease the anxiety with a cocktail.

I am homesicker than I was before we left. I am sad. My heart is broken and I feel really out of place and disorientated. I know that much of this can be contributed to jet lag and/or exhaustion (west to east is a KILLER), but I walked into this house last night and felt nothing but grief.

Going to visit was surreal. The moment we stepped off of the plane I felt like I was finally “home”. It’s very hard to explain the feeling. Not to say that Munich is anything like prison, I imagine this is how prisoners feel when they are released. It was like a dream. I did not miss Munich once when we were there. Not my bed, my clothes, my couch… nothing.

Anyway, we had an amazing time. I saw almost everyone I wanted to see and I was taken aback by how much love and support we have (which made it that much harder saying goodbye). We received some really sweet gifts for the little one and I am so grateful that we got to spend time with everyone before our lives as we know it change forever. In addition to catching up with friends and family, we shopped, ate out at our favorite restaurants, BBQ’d at Crissy Field, watched the sun set over the ocean, walked on the beach, shopped at Target, went to the mall, went to the movies, hit up a drive through, ate 1000 burritos, drove a car… it was perfect. In fact, we really lucked out and got to experience a few days of amazing weather. There are probably five days a year when it is that sunny and warm in the city and two of those days happened last week. It all just felt right an things just haven’t felt that way, for me, in a long time.

I unpacked today and our wardrobe is now overflowing with baby clothes and gadgets. All we have left to do is get the room ready, which we plan on starting to do next month. It hit me last night around 2am. This is it. We are in the final stretch. This is going to happen. We’ve seen our friends and family, we’ve been wished well and now all that’s left to do is have this baby. I am fucking terrified and relieved that I’ve got four more months left to prepare, emotionally.

I don’t know why but I feel so much different than I did before we left. Seeing everyone and receiving little gifts and advise and whatnot made it all seem real. Also, I think I’ve doubled in size over the past two weeks and not being able to bend over to put on my shoes has made it that much more real also. And did I mention the 32F situation. Oh hai. What if they don’t stop growing? What if they get so big they smother me in my sleep? What if they smother my dog? OMG, what about the baby?!?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

As you can imagine, or maybe not, I am pretty exhausted. The flight back was easier, shorter (11 hours as opposed to 12), but re-adjusting to the time zone and everything is proving to be difficult. I am feeling out of sorts. Health-wise I am great though. The flights were long and uncomfortable but I had absolutely no complications, unlike when we moved here and my ankles were so swollen I couldn’t tell where my calf ended and my foot began.

If I can offer any advice to pregnant women about to travel over many time zones, here it is:

1. Fly before you are too big. I flew out at 19 weeks and returned at 21. You would be surprised by how much you physically change (GROW) in a matter of two weeks so book long haul flights early in the second trimester because getting in and out of that economy seat when the person in front of you has their seat fully reclined is IMPOSSIBLE to do without being able to hoist yourself up over the stationary armrest, alongside the aisle. If I were any bigger I don’t think I would have been able to get out at all and you HAVE to get up and move around often to prevent DVT and edema.

* my arm and back muscles are actually sore from having to lift myself up and over the arm rest to get out of my seat*

2. DRINK LOADS OF WATER. I cannot stress this enough. I drank close to two gallons of water each way (I filled my water bottle so I know how much I drank) and I STILL felt dehydrated when we landed. My doctor told me to drink a cup of water every 30 minutes so I set my alarm and probably drank twice that. I peed like crazy but that is a good thing because it made me get up out of my seat and walk, which is absolutely necessary. Despite feeling “dried out” when we landed, I had no swelling and felt physically fine. I also think that staying hydrated helps with jet lag. Most planes going long distances have a drinking water tap somewhere near the bathrooms. Ask a flight attendant where it is and bring an empty water bottle with you (can’t bring liquids through security but you can bring an empty water bottle/container) so that you can refill it. The flight attendants only come around a few times with water during the flight which is not enough.

3. Wear compression stockings. They are not very cute nor are they very comfortable but they can save you and your baby’s life. No joke. Deep vein thrombosis is real. Get properly fitted for stockings before you fly, don’t by some off of the shelf ( I actually went to an orthopedic place and got measured for mine). Additionally, learn the correct way to put them on, or they will be of no use, and put them on before getting out of bed the day of your flight.  These are a life saver. Do not get on the plane without them.

4. Walk around OFTEN. Because I was getting up to pee and refill my water bottle I probably moved my legs every 30 minutes. If you have to, do what I did, and set your alarm to remind you. I know it sucks having to get in and out of the seat but you are doing this for you and your baby’s health and you will feel so much better. Another thing I did, which actually felt really good, was when I was standing (after peeing or waiting in line to pee), I stood up on my toes and then back down, repeatedly. It makes your calf muscles stretch/flex which is great for circulation…and it really does feel good. I also suggest taking some magnesium. I was taking this to prevent contractions, but magnesium is also a muscle relaxer and can help with muscle cramps. I think it also helps me sleep. Don’t take it without asking your doctor first. I was prescribed magnesium though, so make sure you ask.

5. Wear loose clothing: sweats that aren’t too tight around the waist, a skirt… anything that isn’t tight and that could cut off circulation or that you can’t move in. I made the mistake of wearing my maternity jeans on the ride over and even though they have an elastic belly panel, it still felt like the elastic was digging into my skin.

6. Bring slippers on the plane. The first thing I did to get comfortable was take off my shoes and, let me tell you, trying to get them on (and off) each time I got up to use the bathroom was a PAIN IN THE ASS. I had to literally squat in the aisle to do it because space was cramped and even more so with a belly!! Also, you do NOT want to walk around, particularly in the toilets, with just your socks on. Turbulence + alcohol + altitude+  men who can’t even make it in the toilet at home = PEE ON THE FLOOR. Gross. Even more gross is the vomiter or the occasional projectile shitter, who happens to “miss”. Yeah, wear something on your feet that you don’t mind tossing when you get home.  I saw things that nobody paying 1300 euro to fly should ever see. It was shocking.

My doctor prescribed me a blood thinner (clexane) which I only took one way ( I chose not to take it on the return flight). She gave this to me because I have a few veins sprouting up on my leg, not varicose *yet*, and she did this as a preventative (DVT). On the way home I decided not to take it, because I just didn’t feel like I needed it as long as I moved and drank lots of H20, so instead I took a fish based omega 3 three times a day which works similar to aspirin in regards to thinning the blood. I am not sure how much it works, compared to aspirin, but I do know that before I went into surgery a few years ago (boob job jajajaja), I was told by my doctor NOT to take any omega’s two weeks before the surgery to prevent excessive bleeding. I really do not like taking medications while pregnant so to me this was a safer, more natural, alternative. Again, do not take anything without asking your doctor. Don’t be a doucher, f’real.

Anyway, as far as the pregnancy is concerned, I am feeling pretty good. My appetite has been a bit funky over the past two weeks (week 20 and 21), I haven’t had much of an appetite at all. I could eat one meal a day and be done with it. I chock this up to a very sloooowed digestive system, jet lag, and the fact that things are starting to get a bit cramped. My mother in law was a bit concerned :-/ with it but I think my body knows what to do. I am drinking at least a gallon of water a day, in addition to taking my vitamins. I am active, healthy ( I survived two transatlantic trips without getting sick when everyone around me back home was coughing), not constipated (pthth), the baby is moving every day (SO ACTIVE and I think I’ve even begun to feel hiccups!!) , and my energy level is great, even after traveling over how many timezones ( my friends couldn’t believe how much energy I had) … so I think I will trust my body on this one. When I need to eat, I will, and I do, it’s just not this ravenous 24/7, ME NEED EAT ICE CREAM, hunger I was expecting and I am OK with that… my ASS is OK with that.

I have a Dr. appointment tomorrow. Kinda nervous to find out how my cervix is holding up and too learn how much weight I’ve gained. Something about the US just makes people fat, even if they don’t eat a ton. Blah. We will be having another ultrasound tomorrow. Will report back. Wish us luck.

Ok, so here is my 20 week video, in case you haven’t already seen it. It sucks, just as much as the other ones, but I am not much of an editor, or an actor so WTF do you want from me!??!?! I haven’t done my 21 week update video yet. I was going to do it today, but I was so tired and disorientated I decided unpack and reacquaint myself with this life here and re-learn how to use my dishwasher (seriously, I fucking forgot how to do it and had to bust out the manual, not to be confused the Manuel, I left him in the parking lot at home depot before we left). I am hoping to do it tomorrow (the 5th). Stay tuned.

One of my favorite memories from our trip: watching the amazing sunset at the beach. Those people were sitting on the wall, drinking beers, like we used to do . It was really bitchin.

I am uploading the rest of the pics to flickr so check back in a few. Also, if you haven’t noticed, my Twitter feed is no longer being displayed in the sidebar. That is because I have had to make my tweets private. It totally sucks but I had to do it for security ( too-close-for-comfort-STALKER) reasons. If you aren’t following me already, click on the icon and put in a request. I will allow you to follow me, I just need to be able to monitor it somehow… for now. Too bad. This wasn’t my decision, rather it was a recommendation made to me by a concerned someone, and I decided that it was probably for the best since this situation nuisance is not going away.

xox

CG