I have not been this sick in 10 years, when I began working at the hospital and spent my entire Spring Break in bed with one of the worst flu’s of my life.

If I could just sleep perhaps I would start to recover but I am up all night with the baby and because my supply seems to have plummeted, despite drinking like 6 liters of water a day, she has been nursing every hour during the day. Let me tell you, nothing hurts more than having a baby gnawing on your boob when your entire body is aching and sick and feeling like poop.

G has been babbling up a storm this past week “da da da da da ” “wa wa wa wa” and doing this funny thing where she looks at something and then tilts her head to the side, as if she is checking it out from another angle. It is really funny. She is such a sweet little pea. I love her so much.

Hope y’all are weller than me.

oh Hi mark

I am a couple days late posting this, but shoot, I still can’t believe it…6 months old. In the past month she has met some huge milestones, she sits now, she began “scooting” on her belly, she is drinking from a sippy cup (sort of) and, she is now eating solid food, sweet potato, which we gave to her for the very first time on Valentines Day.

So far we’ve given her about a teaspoon of food each night to get her used to the whole idea. I think she was definitely ready because although she gags a bit and makes a funny face, the majority of the food we’ve given her gets swallowed and she “chews” it.

Of course, I am thrilled (both about starting solids AND sippy cup) because this means that the child will not starve if I am not around. Options feel amazing, like a huge burden has been lifted.

Sleep still doesn’t exist in our lives and I’ve completely given up on her napping in the bassinet or crib. Instead I strap her into the carrier 2 or 3x a day and she naps there for a good hour, no fuss. It works. As far as night time, she goes down between 8 and 9, wakes around midnight and, lately, has been up every fucking hour or two after that. She is still in the cosleeper attached to the bed. She would probably sleep better if I brought her into bed with us, but our bed just isn’t safe – double (yeah not even a queen), pillow top mattress… you get the boring idea. So for now we just roll with the punches. Hairy takes her in the morning while he gets ready for work, most mornings, so I can get 30 minutes of sleep.  I keep telling myself “it will be over soon” but, like, what if it isn’t?!

Anyway, she is so awesome and it’s the most amazing thing to watch her grow. I just wish she’d sleep because it’s fucking killing me.

Other than that, still no word on the move.  UGH. Also, it’s been snowing here pretty consistently which has me frantic and pacing around. Snow is neat and fun for like one day and then it just gets in the way of life. I am ready for Spring, so it really needs to hurry its ass up.

My Maui body is coming along. My boobs are doing pretty good, thanks. I should be ready for my bikini come summer. Because I am still breastfeeding, I am burning an additional 500-700 calories a day (whoo hoo! free workout!) so I am not going crazy with the exercise/diet. And I am eating chocolate, sensibly.  I work out at least 3 times a week in addition to making the daily store trips and lugging baby and bags up 6 flights of steps, so it’s enough. Any more and my milk supply would probably suffer (sexy).

I’d like to start doing non-baby videos again, for fun. I have a few ideas in mind, stay tuned for that.

Home, please, soon. xo

Look who dirtied up the toes on her PJ’s from scooting around on the floor!

She’s mobile y’all!  (and apparently I need to mop more!!)

Happy Monday.

Really? Can you believe it? Wow.

Hmm.

In two days my baby will be half way through her first year. It is crazy how fast time flies and while I am sad that it’s going by so fast I am also really glad to be through all that newborn shit. I do not miss my sore bleeding cracked nipples, although I did get a bit sentimental the other day when I found a nearly empty tube of Lanisoh on my bedside table. Funny how that works, huh?

This past week I’ve been busy trying to sort out my health. Am I really sick or just bored? I had an appointment with a cardiologist just to rule out anything funky with my heart. The Dr. performed an echo, a stress ekg, I wore a 24 holter monitor and had a bunch of labs to check everything from electrolytes to liver function, all came back normal. So my OB wants me to get tested for Hashimoto’s thyroid disease. To be honest I think I am just really sensitive to the hormones fluctuations associated with being postpartum and breastfeeding. I’ve read that oxytocin (the breastfeeding hormone) can cause an adrenalin rush which would explain the heart racing. In addition to that, I am getting about 7 hours of sleep, a week. My body is straight up pooping out. This baby is awake now every 1-2 hours every night and will not nap during the day unless I am holding her. Everything hurts more, FEELS more…sucks more when you are tired, scratch that, exhausted.

I am glad that the major stuff all checked out though and so now I am going to have a drink. OH HAI.

We still have no move date which totally blows. On top of that it’s been freezing cold out, like in the negatives, and so we are stuck in this shitty apartment. Ugh, I just want a date so that I have something to look forward to. FREEDOM. I am ready to get on with my life. Srrsly. I am like a fucking prisoner. I am ready for a change.

Anyway, here’s to a bright future full of bacon and a solo career, cheers.

Bubba is the best.

Remember that whole deal G had about screaming for an hour or 10 in our arms before going sleepy time every night? Well, those days are over. Bam, just like that. She still ain’t sleeping through, but whatever. Hip Hip Hooray.

This past week she has discovered that everything in this world is within reach and her feet are her new BFF’s . She could roll around all day grabbing at them and trying to fit them into her mouth, which will never happen because they are just too huge ( she hit the jackpot in the prehistoric foot department). Ahhh she loves them so much now, just wait until she’s 13 wearing size 10 shoe… I really wish there way a way I could  have turned that gene off, it was not in the plan!!! Sorry babe!

She had her U5 Dr. appointment yesterday and I got majorly bitched out when I told them that I hadn’t started her on solids yet. The nurse/wife lady was very upset with me and told me that I screwed up and now G would never know how to eat from a spoon properly and blah bla blah. So I straight up lied and told her that I had “actually tried to give her a little,er, like a month ago, but, um, she spit it out and so I didn’t offer it again” to shush her up because I was not in the mood … I hate lying but not nearly as much as I hate being made to feel like that lady had me feeling. I mean, shit. Really?

Anyway, G got her shots and everything is going well. No  news about our move yet, soon though, very soon.

Fuck I’m tired.

Be easy xo

here, let me google it for you

mmmbyeeee

Ready to go home. Waiting to hear when.

On the edge of my uncomfortable seat.

Any day now… ugh, ugh, ugh.