So today I was pretty much told that I wasn’t German enough for the positions which were available (web dev./design) through this firm (they read my AMERICAN resume and still contacted me??). I said, that sucks, considering us McEnglish speaking Americans OWN the innernets, yeah “.com” came long before “.de” was even “.around” … he was confused because I appeared so professional on the website which is when I straight up told him that my vagina can make coffee… and then I proceeded to curse him out in Spanish and even threw in some Italian (C’moooooooon!) for shits and gigs.

It’s ok because I don’t wanna work anyway, like 20% of the population doesn’t even bother, so why should I. I have a nice pad,  and a darling figure (supple, pouting fake breasts… firm thighs). Besides,I like sitting around watching the dirt accumulate under my toes. I just slap a coat of paint on these bad boys before I leave the house and nobody knows that I have no life! Success!

.. off to go recycle some bottles so that I can afford dinner.

husband: you like this position?
me: which one, there were like 4
husband: engagement manager
husband: you get to engage
husband: with customers
me: as long as i don’t have to touch them

P.S. Apparently Google “forgot” to get back to me after I applied for the the position as Senior VP of the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button last week, so I am just gonna show up on Friday… and pretend that I had an interview scheduled and that they must have “screwed” up their calendar, total douchers.
CHOW