holy heck…i think i saw the light last night and i think it was coming out of someones ass…what a trip and a half.

sorry guys, i know that i promised to be on cam but after 2 stiff (heh like that) vodka sodas + 3 shots of vodka + a valium + an ambien i was out cold. it was amazing (besides you dont put out)… i think i levitated or vegetated, er, coagulated? naaah, whatever it was…it was amazing and now im kinda neither here nor there…which is a fabulous place to be. i cannot remember a darn thing either. eh whatever, im sure it wasnt that great anyway. Hmmm so I just read that the side efffects of ambien + vodka + valium in include dizziness, dry vadge, heartburn, crabs, sinusitis, male pattern baldness and syphyllis…drats. humph, oh well.keeping me fingers crossed.

Ok, so ill make it up to ya tonight. dont stop the love just yet. give a girl who’s a little down on her luck a break, will ya?

UPDATE:

”

What is the most important information I should know about AMBIEN?

After taking AMBIEN, you may get up out of bed while not being fully awake and do an activity that you do not know you are doing. The next morning, you may not remember that you did anything during the night.”

“You have a higher chance for doing these activities if you drink alcohol or take other medicines that make you sleepy with

AMBIEN. Reported activities include:

• driving a car (“sleep-driving”) <—this is the best hahaha
• making and eating food
• talking on the phone
• having sex <–nice excuse hookers on ambien… whoever added this to the list of activities is a total whore looking for a cop-out after doing humpy humpy with someone and not remembering it (love that though!)
• sleep-walking”

dam, all of my favorite activities…. i better go check my car for damage, my oven mitt, my cell phone log…better check the cooter for signs of entry .. my high heels for wear and tear, my anus… dam dam dam.

LATEST UPDATE:

I just got a text from someone ” i missed your call last night, what’s up?” – do NOT remember doing this. oh no..what’s next…

hmmm , oh and get this :
“Call your doctor right away if you find out that you have done any of the above activities after taking AMBIEN.”

yeah right! HAHAHAHA

indeed i have. rejoice!

what a pity, it’s gone. again. i managed to find some of my old blog. what a total bummer.

March 2003:

“hi my name is colleen, i enjoy long walks in the park and being dicked around. if you are interested you can stalk me at home or follow me when drunk on a bus. after i have begged for you to leave me alone and you agree but continue to harass me ,i will do as i always do and wonder “why me” as I begin to plan the rest of my life around avoiding situations with you in them.

go away. fuck off and stop calling me. gracias. ”

March 2003:

“im feeling like i need to regurge some good gack and as i scrolled through my many irrelevant postings here i came across one that brought me great joy in writing… so like a song from the 70′s..

so in my confusion i have officially categorized cock. last night as i lay , unlaid in bed, i was thinking about all the shlongs ive met and it got me to thinking ….

1. the over eager cock: now this cock is a little ahead of its time, this is by far the worst..just when you think you are gonna get some…it ends before it begins and i just cant have me none of that. seek some medical attention. i dont care what you say, its called premature ejaculation and its sooo tired.

2. the average white cock: its white, its average…yawn. seen one of these…seen them all. never seen one? ah, ya aint missing much.

3. the leaning cock: this cock dont know which way its supposed to bend and if you arent prepared that shit can really freak you out..

4. the sneak up on you cock: this is your frends cock, yeah you know what im talking about.. that frend you let crash at your place cause you were both drunk.. the frend who knows you’ll never fuck him. not even wasted.. the one who cuddles with you in sleep and has his sick skinny pecker pressing up against your ass in the morning..ack. get a room..with yourself

5. The sensitive indie cock: this ones a real annoyance to say the least.. hey i like the music too, i can dig the scene (barely) and i also like vegetables…but this doesnt mean i want to fuck a piece of broccoli. enough with the emotional crap, grow testosterone already, your sperm are counting on you.

6. the western cock: this one thinks hes a cowboy riding you like a fucking bull.. um guys..save me some urinary discomfort, go back to texas.

7. the come twice cock: this one usually needs a blow job beforehand. he can get off and off and off and chances are you will be ready for sleep well before he realizes that you are no longer conscious and snoring like a bastard.

8. the im so drunk, eew i fucked YOU ? cock: pretty self explanatory. best if forgotten..quickly.

9. the punk rock cock: pierced cocks , mutilated cocks…all have a place..in someone ELSE, yikes..

10. the old man cheating on his wife cock: it smells like grandpa, but hey.. ya needed the money.

11. the professional athlete cock: nothing beats a dick as thin as a pencil and balls the size of marbles! go team! go steroids! ”

true classics. ….

sleeping in. It’s great..for instance, this morning (around 11am) I had a dream that I was being chased by a very angry bear. It was a polar bear and it basically wanted to kill me, neat!…and then I woke up and had another fabulous dream that I was brushing my hair and my hair starting falling out in clumps with each stroke of the brush- double neat! Oh and it just gets better or stranger…I had a third dream that I was being catapulted into various bodies of water (attached to a bungee like cord) from a 10 story tall hmm I don’t even know what they are called…its like the stick/tower portion of a wrecking ball. So like, the tall part that the ball attached too…however, there was no ball at the end. It was attached to a boat, and the ball was me and I was being tossed everywhere.

did someone slip me some bad acid?

moral of the story: sleep less, have fewer dreams.

Hey now, I am so stinkin’ happy (you should be too!)…. cos Halloween is just a few quick weeks away and like, Halloween is the best holiday there is. I just got my costume, which I am thrilled about (a very sexy bunny). I didn’t make it this year, as I have done in the past due to lack of sewing machine, but I am sure to get lots of candy   regardless.