good old fashioned creepy internet predator chat, check out this log from last night. It’s swell and, yes, I locked my doors, my windows and my husband’s butthole(s) after ending the chat (ya never know there appear to be a lot of Ghey horses in these parts). NO, I am not hiding names here, you were just THAT neat creepy :

[12:47:52 AM] *** Missed call from Wulf. ***
[12:48:31 AM] Wulf: hi im mark, and im in munich

[12:48:31 AM] Joan of Arse: Joan of Arse has shared contact details with Wulf.
[12:48:46 AM] Joan of Arse: are you my smelly neighbor?
[12:48:47 AM] Joan of Arse: hahaha
[12:48:56 AM] Wulf: i hope not
[12:49:08 AM] Joan of Arse: uuuuum
[12:49:10 AM] Wulf: lol
[12:49:20 AM] Joan of Arse: why are you in munich if it says you are in london
[12:49:43 AM] Wulf: work
[12:49:48 AM] Joan of Arse: ah
[12:49:49 AM] Wulf: in a hotel
[12:50:17 AM] Wulf: and u
[12:50:30 AM] Joan of Arse: chilling in my stable
[12:50:43 AM] Wulf: can u cam
[12:51:08 AM] Joan of Arse: no because i am going to bed…and because i have to laugh..
[12:51:27 AM] Wulf: r u in town now
[12:51:33 AM] Joan of Arse: I live here.
[12:51:40 AM] Wulf: i c
[12:51:44 AM] Wulf: do u have a pic
[12:51:46 AM] Joan of Arse: im like chatting to my stabler keeper
[12:51:55 AM] Joan of Arse: you cant see my pic? hahah
[12:52:01 AM] Wulf: nope
[12:52:02 AM] Joan of Arse: you can see … go to my website
[12:53:19 AM] Joan of Arse: where do you work
[12:53:49 AM] Wulf: im a partner in PE firm Premium Investment
[12:54:07 AM] Joan of Arse: What is that…do you own a horse?
[12:54:11 AM] Joan of Arse: or a helicopter?
[12:54:20 AM] Wulf: nope
[12:54:34 AM] Joan of Arse: oh
[12:54:45 AM] Wulf: im fund investor
[12:54:45 AM] Joan of Arse: how did you find my skype?
[12:54:48 AM] Joan of Arse: oh ok
[12:54:56 AM] Wulf: just boared

[12:55:04 AM] Wulf: skype search
[12:55:19 AM] Joan of Arse: boared? hmm what did you search for
[12:55:47 AM] Wulf: just female in munich  (*which is a untrue, FYI. I am not “search-able” this way*)
[12:56:06 AM] Joan of Arse: where are you from originally
[12:56:11 AM] Wulf: london
[12:56:22 AM] Wulf: you
[12:56:33 AM] Joan of Arse: which part
[12:56:44 AM] Wulf: St johnswood
[12:56:51 AM] Joan of Arse: ah ok
[12:56:54 AM] Wulf: u
[12:57:00 AM] Joan of Arse: California
[12:57:16 AM] Joan of Arse: hey i have to go
[12:57:23 AM] Joan of Arse: im talking to my groomer
[12:57:26 AM] Joan of Arse: of ghey horse inc.
[12:57:30 AM] Wulf: pity would have loved to see you
[12:57:31 AM] Joan of Arse: have a good one
[12:57:50 AM] Joan of Arse: yeah well … life isn’t always fair.. trust me
[12:58:50 AM] Wulf: if you change your mind and adventurous im in the westin
[12:59:50 AM] *** Call from Wulf declined. ***
[1:00:22 AM] Joan of Arse: i cant sorry. busy, new shipment of hooves coming in

[1:00:46 AM] Wulf: thats tomorrow- there is today and now

[1:01:33 AM] Joan of Arse: they are coming now today and tomorrow sorry. BUT I AM SURE that if you go OUT you will meet lots of lovely ladies who would love to do whatever it is you want to do. U know bars are open LATE here and some NEVER close. ok
[1:02:06 AM] Wulf: can i invite you for lunch
[1:02:18 AM] Wulf: or polo match in london
[1:04:42 AM] Joan of Arse: Im sorry I can’t… ahahah ghey horse polo?
[1:06:14 AM] Wulf: no one said ghey
[1:06:20 AM] Wulf: i said polo
[1:06:46 AM] Joan of Arse: i dont know how to play
[1:06:48 AM] Joan of Arse: sorry
[1:07:02 AM] Wulf: no matter the option is open
[1:07:15 AM] Wulf: and if u change your mind call me
[1:07:42 AM] Joan of Arse: but why? u don’t even know me? I could be a touchy feely accordion player?
[1:08:05 AM] Wulf: dont know going my instinct here
[1:08:33 AM] Wulf: gomez is latin so i trust, maybe will work
[1:10:11 AM] Wulf: take care
[1:10:18 AM] Joan of Arse: k thanks
[1:10:22 AM] Joan of Arse: bye
[1:10:39 AM] Wulf: and if u wish to play send me your number or ill give u mine
[1:11:10 AM] Joan of Arse: play what? chess?
[1:11:32 AM] Wulf: passionate lusty sex
[1:11:44 AM] Joan of Arse: nope can’t do that but have a nice night
[1:11:47 AM] Joan of Arse: bye
[1:11:51 AM] Wulf: bye
[1:12:13 AM] Joan of Arse: you know, you can pay people for that
[1:12:20 AM] Joan of Arse: there ARE professionals for that sort of thing
[1:12:23 AM] Joan of Arse: not skypers
[1:12:27 AM] Joan of Arse: …that you dont know
[1:12:31 AM] Joan of Arse: just a suggestion
[1:13:04 AM] Wulf: thx
[1:13:07 AM] Wulf: night