First, if it doesn’t end in “.ru” it’s not spam… we’ve been together for quite some time, spam-catcher, plugin-guy…you should know this by now.

…and that’s .ru, as in RUSSIA, as in the biggest darn spammers EVER. Don’t they know that spamming blogs is sooo like 1992. Get with the times fuckers.

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“thanks for doing the dishes honey”
“oh, you make it sound as though I had a choice, how so very after-the-fact thoughtful of you”
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Last night was very funny. I mean VERY funny. Husband, you know the Olympic ocean swimmer, and I went to some funny martial arts fight and let me tell you, I was shocked at how many short men where there. I mean REALLY tiny, like miniatures and to top it off some were so douched out I just felt sorry for them. I think this whole ultimate fighting martial arts bit may be like another side effect of the napoleon complex, you know much like the whole motorcycle bit. It’s almost like an unwritten rule: if you are below 5’7, and you are male (Harley riders excluded) you are required to own a motorcycle. You don’t have to ride it, just own it, in case..

AnyTiny, it was interesting to see people beating each other up. I admit I got into it at the end and was jumping up and down, screaming and rooting for the guy with the biggest bulge- can’t help it, I’m a whore.

Oh, and there is a conspiracy in this city to grab my ass. I am convinced. Every time I go out to a bar, or a club, someone sneaks up behind me, grabs my ass and then quickly walks off into the crowd. Well it happened AGAIN last night when husband was using the toilet. It has to be the same guy as the other times because the grab is always the same. It’s a full on grab with a cupped hand, but its not super rough..more like a squeeze. This is like the 100th time this has happened and all in different places. It even happened during the day even, at 3pm, when I was walking my dog! Fucking loser followed me for two blocks and WHAM, straight up grabbed my ass! AND I WAS WEARING A SKIRT! I know it’s not this guy though, cause this little beaner grabbed so hard he almost took off a cheek, also.. he didn’t run until I started screaming. I think he was some kind of sick pervert and got off on my reaction.

BLAH! What a pussy move. Grab and run. At least stay and introduce yourself..buy me a drink perhaps? Totally rude.

Ok, so afterward we went to some bar-not 1/16th as entertaining as the little man fighting… stayed for a drink, stumbled over to get pizza and somehow managed to get home.

lastly, I have been getting asked about who the sad bastard with the small wiener is that I tweet about over my morning cup of crack stock and so I’ve decided to make an announcement: Who it is isn’t the point….it’s my virtual psychological, sometimes still drunk from the night before, hmm… shunt. I know, I know…and its alllwwaaaays aaaaaallll aaabout meeee Yup-Yup.

That’s “Miss” CompleteAssholeItCouldBeYourDickImTalkingAbout, to you.

Luv
Sea El

I am going to happy hour. If you are up for the challenge give me a call.