I’ve decided to start a new category…” The douche of the Day” because certain people need to be recognized for having the ability to get on my only fucking nerve.
Today’s Douche of the Day is the owner of the blue car below.
What makes this person such a douche?
Well, as you can see by the photo, this super star it taking up two entire parking spaces. This is a big NO fucking NO when you live in a city with extremely limited parking. This is blatantly inconsiderate and pisses me off like nothing else.
The Douche of the Day
What sucks even harder is that this is not the first time this person has been caught in the act of doucheness. In fact, this fabulous individual is guilty of the committing the same act TWICE IN THE SAME SPOT! The first time we actually confronted the douche because we were trying to park and bitch was taking up the entire curb. She took doucheness to the next level by actually rolling her eyes at us before moving her hideous car.
About the douch: She is your basic overly tattoed 1990′s style lesbian looking wanna be artist transplanted from some midwestern suburb. Your standard typical San Francisco poser (yawn). She probably hasn’t had her box chowed in ages and has obviously never lived in a city before. She is todays official douche. Enjoy.
8 Comments
As a midwesterner I should be upset by your blatant generalizations. However, you added the caveat “suburb.” This makes it all ok. You’re correct about most of the clam shucking Etheridge fans being unable to park, or drive for that matter. If they’re in an SUV, here’s what you can do to teach the douche folk a lesson…
1) Climb under the car
2) Remove the oil pan drain bolt
3) Instantly shove a candle in the now open hole in the oil pan.
As their Mullet mobile warms up, the candle melts, the oil drains, and voila, new engine time. No engine, no driving….no driving, no taking up two spots parking. Problem solved.
Or, you could just bash their heads in with a shovel. That’s my preferred method
Be carefull Collena , before you know it,that lesbo-looking girl(?) gonna accuse you of anti-gay behaviour….There’s one thing you can do to change her parking-habits…..seduce her,tell her she’s looking awesome,look at her arse, full of hornyness,lick your tongue when she passes you…..haha..and then ask her kindly that she has to park her car in a appropriate way….
http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r101/gfiara/VampiresLesbiennes12.jpg ( Colleen and the Lesbo-chick…)
http://www.harendekrant.nl/images/fotos/large/Sugar.jpg ( does she looks like this…..lol)
http://www.zedwebinfo.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/lesbiennes.jpg
http://www.killsometime.com/Pictures/images/LesbianSmoking.jpg (how to make a lesbian stop smoking….)
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HF2q1azac6s/R9K0rZamdmI/AAAAAAAAAAs/kpZ14Ze8Zzo/S660/4car-pileup5380-small.jpg (parking in san fransisco)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZHPzNgsI14&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYXbddoVjTY&feature=related (omfgod…..haha)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gd7j5yF4tMk&feature=related ( ouch……)
I heart you Tensie!
yuck. i’d rather be accused of anti-gay behavior.
http://www.amazon.com/Walk-Daisy-Remote-Control-Dog/dp/B00008YSLH daisy !!!!!
http://www.impactlab.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/garmin_dog.jpg ( also available for husbands)
Spraypaint. Hot Pink or flourescent orange usually gets the point across. Thats what I’d do…