No, that’s not a character on Jersey Shore. It’s a real-life thingamajig and yesterday while I was in the shower, taking shots of vodka, I began thinking about my current state of ” textbook unemployment” and I got a little ticked off because I just don’t see why I am not worth paying for.

I am a foxy educated lady capable of multitasking and looking damn fine in turtlneck. In college, I majored in Physiology and maintained a 3.7 GPA.  I tutored both physics and calculus, while working part-time as a property manager/bookkeeper, and coordinating a very BUSY volunteer program at the hospital. In my “spare” time, I kept it real, and learned how to make them fancy websites for the innernets and browse for Korean porn, allz by mahselfz.

…and when it comes to domestics, I am no slouch. I can whip up a meal for 8+, fix a leaky faucet, change your baby’s diaper, and refinish your hardwood floors, all at the same time, half-passed out drunk.

Seriously though, the only real issue I have, in regards to taking a cubicle-esque job, is being stuck working for assholes. I just can’t do it. I’ve worked for too many of those kinds of people and I take shit way too personally. I understand that by not sucking it up and conforming I may never own a pair of patent leather pigalles, but that is a sacrafice that I am willing to make, today anyway… god, I just really hate assholes!

Shrimp tacos anyone?