The honest truth is that I love and respect all three, although not equally. The even more honest truth is that they are not that easy to get anymore.

In my experience Valium seems to be the “cure all” for things such as: anxiety, hangovers, cramps, bad hair days, job interviews, stage fright, overall misery. I’ve tried a few different varietals, from both the US and India, and I much prefer the US blend. It packs a bit more oomph. Valium is sold over the counter in India, therefore, I can only assume it is weaker than the pharmaceutical grade here. Maybe not, but that has been my experience and I am a total bad ass so lissen me.

Anyway, I mainly use Valium (or whichever benzo I can get my hands on)  for it’s anti-hangover properties. Valium and alcohol pretty much work in the same way, in regards to how they interact with specific neurotransmitters in the brain. It’s pretty basic,  it fucking works , I love it and I want to marry it. The downside is that Valium, like all other benzos, are SUPER habit forming. Like, if I take 5 mg two days in a row, I would need to take 10mg on day three to feel anything which blows.

I have also tinkered around with Xanax, Klonopin and Ativan in various strengths and dosages…Ativan is by far my LEAST favorite because it takes 10 years for it to kick in and when it does, you get a quick rush that lasts like 30 second, then it’s over..boooooring. I would rather just get drunk again. Now, don’t get me wrong here, while I don’t prefer it, I certainly would not turn it down if it were offered to me.

Xanax is like an “in between” for me. It doesn’t leave me with lingering drowsiness for an entire day like Valium, which is OK,  but it doesn’t take me to the omega level like Valium does either, which is what I like. It does work well for anxiety though, without feeling so dopey.

Klonopin, or “the Klonny”, as my friend and I used to call it, is right up there with Valium as far as knocking my ass out. I found it to be quite a bit bolder than Xananx and it could pretty much kick Ativans wimpy ass anyday. However, it doesn’t give me the sleepy effect like Valium does, which can be good or bad depending on the situation.

Now, on occasion I have resorted to Ambien. I do not recommend this drug for anyone and I think it should be pulled off the market. I have a full rx in the cabinet and I would rather toss and turn for 10 days straight than take that shit. In tard terms, it pretty much shuts off half of your brain. As in, one half is still wanting to do shit and hang out and eat and SCREW, whereas the other half is not even functioning. I have seen my husband sleep walk, I had a friend who “sleep fucked”, and I, myself, have woken up under couches with half eaten box of  Twinkies after taking this drug.

With all of these drugs the main side effect I’ve experiences is a mean case of the munchies. Mostly sweets and various junk foods, never anything healthy which is fun for me. It is an uncontrollable insatiable hunger… I ate an entire box of cocoa puffs on valium once… so if you are worried about your figure you may want to go have another drink instead.

As far as other remedies, I have popped a Vicodin before and I even went as far as to “cold water” extract the hydrocodone from a crushed vicodin tablet in my kitchen, so I wouldn’t have to take all of that acetaminophen, and then I drank it. The return was so low for the effort and the nausea was so great.

Other tips and ideas! haha

As far as preventing a hangover before hand, I have made a great discovery… Benadryl! The non-drowsy variety. Actually, any antihistamine should work… and if you are of Asian decent and you tend to get flushed after drinking, pop a Pepcid AC  beforehand. WOOP!

I hope you enjoyed reading my report. May you never be hung over again.