What a fucking year.

August 23 will mark the end of my first year of marriage … and what a long year it has been. It actually feels more like 10.(Well, the first week felt like 2 years and then each week thereafter felt like a month, with the exception of new years which felt like 6 months…)

August of last year was a very interesting time to be in my head. I think that deep down I associated marriage with failing…a complete loss of identity, an end rather than a beginning. Like many brides, I had a few meltdowns, although mine had nothing to do with a dress or floral arrangements.

The honeymoon was fun but I feel like the whole experience was very anti-climactic, a big let down. Weddings and honeymoons really have nothing to do with marriage (I found out the hard way). Trust me, if your photos look like shit, your marriage can still be wonderful.

After the honeymoon we had a lot of downs and very few ups. Happily ever after never really came for us like it was supposed to, according to Martha Stewart, and I fell deep into post-nuptual depression. It was not an easy time and I let things outside of my marriage get somewhat out of control. Now, I am only going to speak for myself here, but there are two sides to each story and while I could go on and on about the things HE did wrong, I won’t because that isn’t fair, we are over pointing fingers, and, frankly, it’s none of your business.

The point is that we survived it. We grew up a lot this year, learned to forgive for the past and are learning every day how give in to the future. I am actually looking forward to year #2 (the brass poop anniversary).

In honor of ending our first year of marital hell, we are spending 11 days in Maui. Pressure free, no anxiety about what we will come home to, no drama… just 100% vacation. Woop!

We are going to wear football helmets in the plane, in case we crash, that is my compromise with God for having to fly.

Also, we got a brand new whoopie cushion to break in, PLUS a remote control fart machine which we are going to hide in a bush/plant and set off as people walk by at the hotel. OMG, this is going to be the BEST! ptththt. Get ready for some unique photographs (you wont believe how low we stoop for a laugh until you see it). WOOP!

xoxo

CL